You may have noticed that I haven’t posted much lately. In fact, when I got ready to write this post, I looked back on my Instagram and saw that my last post was March 30th. That also happens to be the last time I went for a run. Since then, I haven’t been moving much at all. Besides walking the April Kade 8k a couple of weeks ago and a bike ride with my husband last night, I haven’t done a minute of intentional exercise.
I’ve thought about it plenty. I’ve given myself grace because April is always a tough month for me. This year, I got sick early in the month, and that illness lingered for a few weeks. My sleep hasn’t been great. And while I know movement could likely help with many of these struggles—strengthening my immune system, improving sleep, and supporting my mental health—actually taking action has felt much harder.
I’ve considered new routines, training plans, and different goals. I’ve had plenty of ideas and imagined what getting back into a groove could look like. But actually doing something? That’s a totally different story.
Now here we are, just days away from the start of the Still I Run May Runstreak for Mental Health Awareness. In years past, I would have been gearing up to run at least a mile every single day in May. I would have made a detailed plan and had lofty expectations of myself.
This year is going to look different. If there’s one thing that has remained consistent about my relationship with running—and movement in general—it’s that it’s complicated. Sometimes I’m motivated, inspired, and ready to commit to crazy goals. Other times, like now, I feel so disconnected.
It’s not that I’ve stopped caring. If anything, the fact that I’m writing this post probably shows just how much I do care. I know exercise is important for both my physical and mental health. I know it can help with sleep, stress, and overall well-being. But as I often remind my patients: knowledge doesn’t automatically create motivation.
Something else I frequently discuss with patients—and something I’m actively working on in therapy myself—is moving away from all-or-nothing thinking. I am great at making ambitious plans. I love the excitement of a new training cycle, the dopamine rush of mapping out goals, races and routines. Executing said plans however, is almost always a struggle. Routines get tired and boring.
So for the Runstreak this year, I am going to try to get a total of 31 walking and running miles. Not a mile every day, but a total for the month. That goal feels realistic while still being challenging. It gives me flexibility while keeping me accountable. Maybe instead of planning a whole month, or even a week in advance, I’ll take it in 3-day chunks at a time, like my therapist recently suggested. Maybe I’ll rotate between walking, running, biking, and yoga.
Another goal I’d like to continue is completing one race each month. So far, I’ve done a race in January, February, March, and April, and I’d love to keep that momentum going—not because I need to prove anything, but because staying connected to movement and the running community still matters to me.
I don’t have a massive comeback plan. I’m still not feeling especially motivated. And honestly, I am not entirely sure what comes next. What I do know is that I want to build something sustainable instead of repeating old patterns.
So maybe this May won’t really be about a run streak. Maybe it will simply be about moving forward. And forward is still a pace.
RD on the Run 